FAQ
Q; What is Mr. Grubb's deal?
A: Mr. Grubb spent a lot of time alone as a child. Therefore, he has a very active imagination. The question is: how do we de-activate it?
Q: If I bribe Mr. Grubb with chocolate, will he give my child preferential treatment?
A: Absolutely not. You are welcome to try though.
Q: How do I spell the contraction dose'nt?
A: Not like that.
Q: My child was up until 2:35 am doing homework. Is that normal?
The only official homework for all fourth graders is to read 20 minutes every school night. If your child is working on some other school activity, it is because he or she did not finish the assignments in the allotted class time. I generally allow the class enough time for the average student who keeps at it to finish. If your child is having to regularly finish assignments at home, they may have speed or chatty issues. If the former, we can discuss options to give them some relief.
Q: How can I check my child's grades in between official reports?
A: Your child's grades are available for you to view at any time via the districts Home Access Center (HAC). You can fink a link on the Parents Resource page of the EEE website.
What are the officially approved snacks?
The Texas legislature has eased up on us in that area. Teachers can now provide junk food for children on days other than party days, but we still encourage healthy snacks such as:
94% fat free popcorn
Saltine Crackers
Vanilla Wafers
Pretzels
Plain Bagel
Animal Crackers
Plain English Muffin
Cinnamon Raisin Bagel
Animal Crackers
Goldfish Grahams
Goldfish Pretzels
Graham Crackers
Cheese Crackers
Trail Mix-no nuts
Ritz Crackers
Cheddar Goldfish
Raisins
Chocolate Teddy Grahams
Cinnamon Teddy Grahams
Cheerios
Low Fat Granola Bar
Nutra Grain Bars
Fig Newtons
Those milk chocolate bunnies with the marshmallow center (not
really)
Q: Was Mr. Grubb's third grade teacher really as scary as he claims?
A: Here is the report from his own pen:
"As a third grader, I should have been studying fractions and practicing handwriting. So what was I doing under my desk?
The answer was simple: Mrs. Riggs was my teacher. She was a genius at devising creative punishment. By contrast, my wife's third grade teacher was Mossy Meadows. So she says; I'm still not convinced she was a real person. Miss Mossy was evidently the perfect educator; all I learned from Mrs. Riggs was pain. Oh sure, I needed some re-direction at that time in my life, but was it necessary for me to copy an entire Social Studies
chapter word-for-word?
There were many other cruelties to make us wonder whether she liked children at all. Once, when she was mad at the entire class, she spanked us all in about seven seconds. Our desks were arranged in a large horseshoe for just such occasions. We sat in chairs with wooden seats and wooden backs, with a big gap in between them. That made it convenient for her to skip around the perimeter with a ruler, bopping bottoms in rapid succession. . . no child left behind. She was nimble for a large woman.
My neighbor- Chuck Hewlett- who had Mrs. Riggs three years before me, swears that she was worse back then. For instance, whenever she had to leave the class-room for a minute, she used warn the students not to talk while she was away. Before she left, though, she would secretly turn on a tape recorder. When she got back, she would listen to it and punish the guilty parties. I wonder what kind of diabolical judgment she dispensed before she "mellowed." Could it be worse than digging her fingernails in some poor eight-year-old's arm as she had mine (needless to say, she made a lasting impression on me)? I know it couldn't be worse than what she did to Jay Clark.
Jay Clark did act up a lot, but is that why Mrs. Riggs picked on him so much, or was because he was small enough for her to lift above her head? She used to get so agitated at him. Whenever she hollered his first and last name, "Jay Clark!" we knew what came next. While the rest of us watched in horror, Jay would stiffen up, making it impossible for him to escape before Mrs. Riggs' manly hands seized him. If there had been any fillings in Jay's mouth, they would have come out. How could anyone be expected to remember multiplication facts in that kind of atmosphere? Sadly, the boys made up a dance named after Jay (third graders can be so sensitive). Sometimes, when he wasn't around, someone would call out, "Do the Jay Clark," and then all present would jerk around violently as if shaken by some invisible monster.
We all survived Mrs. Riggs class, God knows how. We had beautiful teachers before that and beautiful teachers after that at Wallace Elementary. To my knowledge, no child ever turned Mrs. Riggs in for child abuse. I guess we were all afraid of the payback!"
Q: What in the world is the Mummy Shower Game?
A: When I was 15 or 16 years old, I was looking for a way to liven up my shower experience. I don't know why. I came up with this game where I imagined the Mummy- yes, that Mummy- the bandaged beast from the old horror flicks. He began the game on the opposite of the globe. Whenever I sang in in the shower, the Mummy would begin his approach towards me with with evil intent. When I stopped singing, he stopped moving; when I started back up, so did he.
Oh sure, it was fun for awhile. But after some months of the game, I began wondering where that dude was! Perhaps he was on a ferry crossing the Yangtzee River; maybe he was stuck in London traffic atop a double decker bus. At any rate, I became increasingly uneasy about singing while I showered. Have you ever tried to rinse shampoo out of your hair with your eyes open? I couldn't even be sure that humming was safe. So I finally called a truce and declared with raised voice that the game was officially over. But would the Mummy honor it?
Even now, at the age of 60 if I hear a noise while I lather lyrically, I get a twinge of fear. What was that? Thump, drag...thump, drag.
A: Mr. Grubb spent a lot of time alone as a child. Therefore, he has a very active imagination. The question is: how do we de-activate it?
Q: If I bribe Mr. Grubb with chocolate, will he give my child preferential treatment?
A: Absolutely not. You are welcome to try though.
Q: How do I spell the contraction dose'nt?
A: Not like that.
Q: My child was up until 2:35 am doing homework. Is that normal?
The only official homework for all fourth graders is to read 20 minutes every school night. If your child is working on some other school activity, it is because he or she did not finish the assignments in the allotted class time. I generally allow the class enough time for the average student who keeps at it to finish. If your child is having to regularly finish assignments at home, they may have speed or chatty issues. If the former, we can discuss options to give them some relief.
Q: How can I check my child's grades in between official reports?
A: Your child's grades are available for you to view at any time via the districts Home Access Center (HAC). You can fink a link on the Parents Resource page of the EEE website.
What are the officially approved snacks?
The Texas legislature has eased up on us in that area. Teachers can now provide junk food for children on days other than party days, but we still encourage healthy snacks such as:
94% fat free popcorn
Saltine Crackers
Vanilla Wafers
Pretzels
Plain Bagel
Animal Crackers
Plain English Muffin
Cinnamon Raisin Bagel
Animal Crackers
Goldfish Grahams
Goldfish Pretzels
Graham Crackers
Cheese Crackers
Trail Mix-no nuts
Ritz Crackers
Cheddar Goldfish
Raisins
Chocolate Teddy Grahams
Cinnamon Teddy Grahams
Cheerios
Low Fat Granola Bar
Nutra Grain Bars
Fig Newtons
Those milk chocolate bunnies with the marshmallow center (not
really)
Q: Was Mr. Grubb's third grade teacher really as scary as he claims?
A: Here is the report from his own pen:
"As a third grader, I should have been studying fractions and practicing handwriting. So what was I doing under my desk?
The answer was simple: Mrs. Riggs was my teacher. She was a genius at devising creative punishment. By contrast, my wife's third grade teacher was Mossy Meadows. So she says; I'm still not convinced she was a real person. Miss Mossy was evidently the perfect educator; all I learned from Mrs. Riggs was pain. Oh sure, I needed some re-direction at that time in my life, but was it necessary for me to copy an entire Social Studies
chapter word-for-word?
There were many other cruelties to make us wonder whether she liked children at all. Once, when she was mad at the entire class, she spanked us all in about seven seconds. Our desks were arranged in a large horseshoe for just such occasions. We sat in chairs with wooden seats and wooden backs, with a big gap in between them. That made it convenient for her to skip around the perimeter with a ruler, bopping bottoms in rapid succession. . . no child left behind. She was nimble for a large woman.
My neighbor- Chuck Hewlett- who had Mrs. Riggs three years before me, swears that she was worse back then. For instance, whenever she had to leave the class-room for a minute, she used warn the students not to talk while she was away. Before she left, though, she would secretly turn on a tape recorder. When she got back, she would listen to it and punish the guilty parties. I wonder what kind of diabolical judgment she dispensed before she "mellowed." Could it be worse than digging her fingernails in some poor eight-year-old's arm as she had mine (needless to say, she made a lasting impression on me)? I know it couldn't be worse than what she did to Jay Clark.
Jay Clark did act up a lot, but is that why Mrs. Riggs picked on him so much, or was because he was small enough for her to lift above her head? She used to get so agitated at him. Whenever she hollered his first and last name, "Jay Clark!" we knew what came next. While the rest of us watched in horror, Jay would stiffen up, making it impossible for him to escape before Mrs. Riggs' manly hands seized him. If there had been any fillings in Jay's mouth, they would have come out. How could anyone be expected to remember multiplication facts in that kind of atmosphere? Sadly, the boys made up a dance named after Jay (third graders can be so sensitive). Sometimes, when he wasn't around, someone would call out, "Do the Jay Clark," and then all present would jerk around violently as if shaken by some invisible monster.
We all survived Mrs. Riggs class, God knows how. We had beautiful teachers before that and beautiful teachers after that at Wallace Elementary. To my knowledge, no child ever turned Mrs. Riggs in for child abuse. I guess we were all afraid of the payback!"
Q: What in the world is the Mummy Shower Game?
A: When I was 15 or 16 years old, I was looking for a way to liven up my shower experience. I don't know why. I came up with this game where I imagined the Mummy- yes, that Mummy- the bandaged beast from the old horror flicks. He began the game on the opposite of the globe. Whenever I sang in in the shower, the Mummy would begin his approach towards me with with evil intent. When I stopped singing, he stopped moving; when I started back up, so did he.
Oh sure, it was fun for awhile. But after some months of the game, I began wondering where that dude was! Perhaps he was on a ferry crossing the Yangtzee River; maybe he was stuck in London traffic atop a double decker bus. At any rate, I became increasingly uneasy about singing while I showered. Have you ever tried to rinse shampoo out of your hair with your eyes open? I couldn't even be sure that humming was safe. So I finally called a truce and declared with raised voice that the game was officially over. But would the Mummy honor it?
Even now, at the age of 60 if I hear a noise while I lather lyrically, I get a twinge of fear. What was that? Thump, drag...thump, drag.